[Blogging] Do It All?

Let's talk blogging, bloggers.

If you're not a blogger, you can still read this (though I promise I won't get mad if you don't), but since I know most of you are, let's talk!

Here's a question I have been wondering about after following many, many blogs for a few months now. Almost every single blog/blogger is linked up all over the place: facebook, twitter, pinterest (you won't ever see me there, though), chictopia, IFB, Go Chic or Go Home, bloglovin, better bloggers network, instagram, etc, etc, etc. HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL!?!

(This is my confused face)

I'm really trying to create good content here, and I have a lot of ideas, but I find that I'm at a loss as to what to put everywhere else. I don't want to repeat the same stuff, yet I am having a heck of a time being active in so many different places! Instagram is really the only one that, to me, lends itself well to new content. That may be because I used Instagram because I like it, not because people might want to see the pics. However, I'm not a big facebook person (I can hear the collective gasp that just happened) - although I used to be, but not much any more - and I've never really used my personal twitter account. Plus, all that other stuff I found in the blogging community that I feel like I should be active in seems as though it requires an excessive amount of time and creativity.

So, blogger universe, what are your secrets? What do you use and not use? How do you come up with unique content across the various mediums? What is your strategy?

[Thoughts] How Short is Too Short?

Hello readers! In today's post, I'd like to start a fashion-related discussion. As the summer approaches, and it gets unbelievably hot here in Atlanta, I start looking towards summer fashion. I am a fan of the jean short, and after seeing both Gwenyth Paltrow

In Avengers - sorry the pic is bad, it was the only one I could find

and Teresa Giudice

RHONJ - again, best pic I could find

wear them recently, it got me thinking: how short is too short for an adult woman? Is it different if she has kids?

I turned 30 last summer, and now that a family is in the foreseeable future, I've started to think about the impact that will have on my wardrobe. Frankly, I think both of the above women look fabulous in their shorts - but I still question the appropriateness for those of us who aren't in the public eye. Many might excuse the above ladies because celebrities seem to be able to live by a different set of rules than the rest of us.

As a college gal, I was fit and confident with my body. I could wear short shorts and occasionally lower-cut tops and feel like it was fine, in the right setting. Somewhere along the way, things got bigger and I became super conscious of the neckline cut on every top I own. Mostly because lowcut now makes me uncomfortable. Lowcut tops don't look good on my body any more.

However, short length is another story. I haven't gained an inch on my hips, thighs, or any other part of my lower body. All my weight gain since college is in my middle or higher. I personally consider my legs to be my favorite physical asset, and I'm proud of them. I'm a runner and these legs have taken me a lot of miles in a lot of races and they look like it in a good way. While I've had to adjust the size of the waist on the bottoms I buy (muffin top is not allowed!), I like the way my legs look in almost anything. This makes the line a little blurrier because I still feel confident in shorter shorts. But I am also aware that at 30 years old, short shorts are not necessarily the most appropriate.

I do feel that a mid-thigh length short cuts my long legs in a way that is not the most flattering, so I do try to avoid that length, but that only seems to leave me with the option of short or bermuda length.

What are your feelings on short shorts and age? Short shorts come in many different inseam lengths - 2", 3", 5" - is the line somewhere inbetween? Is there a "too old"? Is it different if you're a mother?

[Thoughts] Housecleaning (Or Brain Cleaning?)

Hello lovely readers! Just a few thoughts for this lovely Friday:

• I will have an outfit post for you today. (YAY! I can feel your excitement) For being a style blogger, my blog has been lacking that for the past week or so. Frankly, I haven't been taking a whole lot of pictures because I've been playing catch up all week in all facets of my life. I haven't really worn an outfit I'm proud of until today. But I also have a few stockpiled pics along with the ones I snapped today. I'll get some up. Promise.
• Speaking of today's look - have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and your hair is just freakin perfect?!?! This almost never happens to me, but today it did. I'm ecstatic about it. 

Ignore the face. I'm not good at the forced smile, apparently.

• I was so excited to go to the Sassy City Chicks event last night but my friend who was going with me had to bail last minute. And then another friend who is moving across the country put together a ladies night for last night and I felt that I would rather feed my soul at her apartment than my closet at the Sample Sale. So I won't have a report on that.
• From yesterday's post....blue it is! I'll be placing my INPink order today and will show you what else I picked in a future post!
• I'm going on a little weekend getaway this weekend; I can't give too many details right now (I will later) but know that I'm flying to Detroit tomorrow morning on a SEVEN AM FLIGHT. Yikes. I have to be at the airport by 6AM. On a Saturday. And I'm not packed yet. And it's stressing me out.
• Are there any Torontonites out there? (See how I just made that word up? Or is that really a thing?) I'm going to Toronto in about 3-4 weeks for work, and I'm going to have a free Friday night in the city. I'm also debating the merits of flying home before lunch on Saturday or sticking around and flying back around dinner time so I can do some sightseeing. Are there things worth seeing/doing in the city that I should stick around on Saturday for? Anyone who's been to Toronto or lives there? Bueller? Bueller?

I debated posting this last point because I really don't want to offend anyone. I'm really not trying to do that. But this has been weighing on me a bit and has been my first bit of disappointment in the blogging community since I started doing this last month. I guess I just have to think that most of you reading this don't fall into this category. And I know others have said they just ignore this issue but it's so, so prevalent that it's bugging the crap out of me because it's rude. There's little I dislike more than rudeness.

• I joined IFB this week. It's done amazing things for my blog traffic, and welcome to those of you who got here from there! If you are enjoying my blog and you came here from IFB, this next part is NOT about you. 
• Warning: <rant> I'm not sure how many of those coming to my blog from IFB are actually reading it. I had no idea it was going to be like this when I joined. For those of you also on IFB, you should know what I'm talking about. A thousand messages and more than half of them just asking you to follow their blogs and not really caring at all about yours. I actually had someone stop by my blog, then send me a message about liking a particular post, but then followed it up with "let me know if you follow my blog - then I'll come follow yours." Shouldn't you just follow it if you like it and not follow it if you don't? Why is your following me contingent on me following you? Yes, blogging relies on give and take, and if you approach me and my blog in a genuine way, I'll probably follow you regardless of whether you follow me, but so many of these messages are disingenuous and these bloggers have no interest in you or your blog unless you "do them a favor" by following them. I want people to follow me because they like my content, not just to make my numbers look good. I'll take 10 active followers over 1,000 who never actually read a word. You don't really seem like a nice, caring, friendly person when you send those messages. And I really, really like nice, caring, friendly people best. </end rant> To those of you who came over here from IFB and are enjoying my blog - thanks!! I hope I blog well enough over time to keep you coming back. :)
• (In keeping with my goal of trying to put myself in others shoes, I can see how people would just want numbers to beef up their blog. I just don't feel the same and I have put in my IFB profile that I'm not interested in that kind of thing. But apparently no one reads that. And since they still insist on pushing their agenda without care for mine, I feel I'm allowed to rant. :)  )

So....I think that's it for now. I'll have an outfit post up later today. I know you'll be waiting with bated breath.

[Thoughts] ....

You may or may not know how I feel about fashion and clothes. This was a bit agonizing to write. Bear with me.

Many of you who know me are aware that I love music (and probably can name at least 5 of my favorite artists/groups), animals, running/exercising, cooking, dancing, and reading. You probably know what books I've recently read because we've probably chatted about them. Maybe we've worked out together or you've come out dancing with me at Wild Bill's. Maybe I've snuggled with your pets or made you brunch when you stayed over at my house or belted out songs with you at karaoke. These are things that most people I'm close to just know about me because they're things I talk about. I love that, because most of them are things of substance. I've always tried to be a woman of substance. I enjoy reading the news, or talking about books or how to improve your 5K time. And I also enjoy fashion and clothes.

I don't talk about it as much because I feel like it's a bit superficial. Fashion, beauty, style - these things can evoke some pretty serious feelings. I worry that I might come off like a show-off, or that I might be judged by what I buy or spend. I worry that liking clothes or shopping or nail polish makes me seem like an airhead. But if we're speaking frankly, dressing well makes me feel good. It improves my mood. It improves my confidence. You know, "when you look good, you feel good!" I admire those with better style than me and I use them as inspiration. When I came across the world of style blogging, I fell in love. I admire the women who confidently share their style with the world and I wanted to do that too! I mean, there has to be something that others would glean from a glimpse into my style, right?

So I started working on this blog, with the intent to make it a style/fashion blog. But as I've worked on it, there has been this thing hanging over my head. I don't know what it is; maybe it's the fear that I'm not really fashionable at all. Maybe it's the fear that I won't have a blog as stylish/interesting/smart/trendy as the rest of the style blogger world. Maybe it's just the fear of being judged, of being deemed narcissistic in terms of looks or shallow in terms of brains. I don't want anyone reading this to think I'm full of myself or that I think I'm beautiful or a wannabe model. I know I'm just me - an IT geek who's kind of good with words and decent at finding deals.

I mean, there are certain things we know we do well, skills we're confident in - I know I can bake well; I've had enough people ask me to make them baked goods. (But I don't love baking all the time. Which is why it will only appear occasionally here. Fashion I love all. the. time.) My friend Rachel knows she can sing because she's been asked to sing at some pretty amazing places. My friend Alison is incredible on horses; she's been riding her entire life. My friend Lea is a fantastic cook and jewelry maker - she gets compliments on both every time she hosts a gathering at her house. My friend Jena is amazing dancer - she's won awards. I know so many people who have confidence in their skills, myself included, but maybe because style and fashion are so subjective, it's a scary world to put yourself in.

In reality, I'm not even concerned about those I don't know. The lovely ladies who visit style blogs are often style bloggers themselves, and you all are such positive, encouraging women. When I start thinking about sharing this blog with people I know, that's when I waver. I haven't done it yet. That's what been hanging over my head. I've been hiding this from the people that mean the most to me. Because I'm worried about what they'll think.

I remember when I was young, watching a movie with my family. I've always loved to sing, and when the credits came on, I started belting out the song. A family member in the room said something along the lines of, "Jamie. Who do you think you are, ________ (fill in amazing singer of the time here)?? Don't sing like that." - implying that I had no business singing like I was good at it because I obviously wasn't. That's stuck around in my head and it makes me think twice about doing things I'm not sure I'm good at.

I'm not sure I'm "stylish". I know so many women more stylish than me. I value the opinions of my friends. What I dread is someone saying "who does she think she is? posting about fashion like she knows something about it!". And not just any someone saying that, but someone I care about. I've been fighting this demon as I've written this blog for the last month. But today, no more. I'm putting this out there and let things fall where they may.

Why? Because I do have my own style, whether others see it that way or not. We all do. We have things we like, clothing styles we gravitate to, and things that make us feel great when we wear them. Because I just love clothes and fashion and shopping and it generally doesn't come up in my every day conversations (and I kind of like it that way). Because I read 10+ fashion magazines a month and I have opinions and wish lists. Because I have some friends who ask me about where I got something or for a recommendation on shoes. Because from now on, this blog will be a conversation.

Honestly, I think we all have our moments - ones where we look amazing and ones where our outfit just doesn't seem to work - and I'm hoping to be able to acknowledge and share both. I'm not a model or even close, nor do I think I'm one. I have a really short torso. I have high hips and long legs. A big chest (thanks, Mom and Grammy). No butt and freakishly big feet for my height. A pointy nose.  I like to think I'm just an average gal. But I'm confident that I'm a pretty good writer. And I think I have a knack for finding great deals. I'm on a budget (a tiny one). I don't know big names in fashion nor do I care about them. I just want to share ideas, great finds, and style suggestions. So that's just what I'm going to do.

I love clothes. There is something just beautiful about a dress that cuts in all the right places or the perfect pair of shoes. There is something I love about mixing colors and prints and styles, using combinations you wouldn't have imagined working and coming up with a finished product that makes you feel amazing. When I see a trend I like, I enjoy the hunt; I like trying to track down the right piece in that trend that works for me, and finding it for the best price possible. When I score a great deal, I want to share it so that you can score it, too! Other bloggers have pointed me to some great deals on things I was searching and searching for.

And of course, you'll see "substance" sprinkled in. I'll write about books. I'll write about music. I'll write about my life. But I'll mostly write about fashion. It will be a conversation. Style is always a work in progress and with so many stylish women out there, I desire nothing more than your ideas on making my style choices better. You all get to be my personal stylists. So I'm going to post things and ask what you think. Be honest. What you'd add, or take away. What other styles would work for me. Whether I should get rid of something or keep it or style it differently. I want you to tell me as much as I'm telling you. That's what this is really about. Exchanging ideas and inspiring each other.

This is the last I want to write about this. I will no longer beat myself up with these questions and insecurities.  I will no longer worry about being judged as I've made my intentions perfectly clear. My thoughts are in order, right here in black and white (or black and blue? My blog background is blue?) I'm going to go forward blogging and if you don't like the content, you don't have to visit. Even if we're friends in real life, I won't expect you to visit here unless you like it. But if you DO like it - please - comment! Make me a better fashionista!! I love hearing your voices.

And if you're not interested in fashion, but are interested in my life (that's for all you male friends of mine out there haha), you will be able to choose what you read because each post title will tell you it's category. Read about what you want. You can ignore the fashion side if you so choose.

'Til later,
J

[Shopping] Sin Wagon

As I was reading through my RSS reader the other day, I came across this article from the Frisky titled "7 Things I Can't Help But Buy Even Though I Already Own Something Just Like It". The author speaks to the nature of obsessive buying, even though the thing you're buying may be ridiculously similar to something you already own. The idea hit pretty close to home.

I love fashion - clothes, accessories, everything. I always feel like there is something out there I just HAVE to have. In my case, I don't often buy things that are exactly like something I already own, but I have a penchant for obsessing over items that I have plenty of but this one is different or special because I don't have this color, or the pattern is just so different even though I already have 3 blue-hued pattern scarves. I feel like I need to have one of everything when it comes to some items. It can get bad. My biggest offenders?

Scarves.
Jeans. (I own multiple pairs of each style of jean because there is something identifiably different about them)
Hats (oh, gosh, how I love hats, even though I don't get nearly enough chances to wear them)
Jewelry.
Nail polish, sometimes. I go in waves on that one (I'm currently on a ridiculous spree).

Do you do this? What are some of the things you obsess over??

*Well now I've been good for way too long

Found my red dress and I'm gonna throw it on

...'Bout to get too far gone*

[Thoughts] Pinterest.SIGH.

Pinterest. It's the elephant in my proverbial social-media room. As I start to build this blog, I'm trying to also build accompanying Facebook, Google+, and Twitter accounts. Specifically on Facebook and Google+, I've been making it a point to start posting discount links and codes to add a little reason for folks to go there. But Pinterest. Pinterest, pinterest, pinterest. I've been avoiding Pinterest.

It started when I went to the Pinterest website and was just assaulted by a visual cacophony of images with no rhyme or reason to them. I had no idea what I was looking at or what to do with it. It was like opening the door to a messy closet and immediately slamming the door shut to make sure nothing falls out and no one sees. And I reacted in the same manner - I left the page.

Over the next couple of weeks, I revisited Pinterest a few times. I really wanted to see what this thing was that nearly every single human being I know was talking about. But I just didn't understand it. And honestly this wasn't a surprise. I don't like to be confronted with large masses of things. I like order. I like structure. I like knowing there is an end point or at least an end goal. And Pinterest appeared to have nothing of the sort.

But it's Pinterest. And everyone is talking about it. So I finally "applied" for an account (which I think is a ridiculous practice that only propagates a superiority complex by some early adopters) and when I was so graciously granted one, I went back. AND I STILL DIDN'T GET IT.

So I had a friend explain it to me. "Oh, it's where you just collect images of things." WHY, pray tell, would I want to collect images of things? "Well, it links back to sites so if there are things you want to reference you can go back." But, isn't that what my web bookmarks are for? Or am I now living back in 2000 with my antiquated bookmarks? (Haha, that sentence made me smirk when I typed it. To think the year 2000 was long enough ago to reference it this way!)

Friends are obsessed with the site. They complain with an "exasperated" smile about how much time it takes up and how it's more of a time-suck than Facebook (a statement to be met with *shock!*). I'm usually ready to jump on a social media phenomenon of this caliber.

I tried. I really did. But I'm not on Pinterest. You may never see a Pinterest link appear on the right hand column of my blog. People follow my dormant Pinterest account and I giggle every time I get the email that so-and-so is following me because I know they may never see a single pin. You know, since I'm not really on Pinterest. At this point I have no desire to be on it. And I still JUST DON'T GET IT. But you know what? I'm finally ok with that. I don't have to understand everything. (Lord knows I will never understand such things the male brain or the Apple obsession). And I have no problem with folks who are completely into it - we all have our things. It's just not for me.

So sorry, ya'll. No Pinterest here.

[Thoughts] Gone

I have been struggling a bit with this blog so far - back into my old habits of course. I am having a hard time reconciling what I want to do with what I think I should do. I started out with the intent to make this blog mostly about fashion, beauty, and style with some other things mixed in, like food, books, news, and life. My inspiration is the many, many wonderful fashion and personal style blogs that are out there. However, I'm struggling a bit. For one, it feels terribly narcissistic to want to do this. Takes pictures of my outfits and accessories and post them nearly daily for all the world to see? Who do I think I am? Then I think about all those wonderful fashion blogs out there that I love reading and I figure there have to be some other fashionistas out there like myself who doesn't have the cash or desire to wear the big names (hell, who don't even KNOW all the big names) but still enjoys being stylish. There have to be others who are on a tight budget like myself and might benefit from knowing where I found a piece for a great price. But it still seems so narcissistic.

And then there's the question of - really - how fashionable am I? I'd like to think I'm fairly fashionable although not nearly on the level of some out there. But enough that my blog might be inspiring? I don't know. I had a coworker the other day question my outfit (a bit rudely, but whatever) and it got me thinking - others will most definitely do the same at some point. How will I feel then?

And I'm NOT artistic or creative or able to take fabulous pictures like so many bloggers out there. I know I won't be able to make my pictures look like everyone else's, but I guess I just have to do my best. The bottom line is, I love to write, I love trends and styles and fashion and budget pieces, and I just have to trust that there are others out there who might gain something here. And once in awhile maybe have a nice, thoughtful post about something else that will get people thinking. But I will never know what will happen until I do, so I guess that's where we're going!

*What you see's not what you get

With you there's just no measurement

No way to tell what's real from what isn't there*